Week 13 : Final blog

This week is the final week of doing these blogs.  Now I am to write a final reflection on the presentation I did with my group.

Out presentation we made was a video directed by my partner Clara.  I, as well as our other partner Ashley, went to Clara's house to film our presentation.  We asked each other questions such as :

"Why did you choose to do this project?"
"What outcome did we want for it?"
"Did we fail with the project or not, and why?"

So with that said, for my part I discussed the reasons why I chose the topic of Eating Disorders to be my year-long project.

We filmed each other answering the questions, and Clara was in charge of editing and putting together the video.  We presented the video to the class; they never uttered a word during the entire video.  I'm hoping they took the video seriously because Eating disorders and Depression are very serious issues.  Ones that should not be taken lightly.

Overall I believe our project presentation came out very well.  We answered the questions honestly, even though we have experienced some of the same issues we had discussed, we really wanted to get the message across that even though the subject is a still a bit taboo they are serious illnesses.  They can harm not only the person experiencing the illness, but also harm everyone around them.

I believe that our project was the best it could be considering the subject at hand.  Even though we partially failed the project by helping a specific person, we did help broaden the message of ED's and Depression.  That alone is enough for myself as well as my group. 

              Picture found on Tumblr

Week 11 : Self Harm - Methods of Distractions

Having an ED (eating disorder) can be difficult.  Yet I've found some ways to combat either the thoughts or ways to distract myself.  Hearing the thoughts that appear when I'm deciding to eat are difficult. Or if you feel that you may purge or binge; these methods may help.

I know of several people so suffer from eating disorders.  From my best-friend, my friends, several of the people I know from Tumblr, even myself.

Always remember though that it will get better.  It may seem as though it won't but it will.  Find someone you can talk too, cuddle your pet, listen to calming music, play an instrument, make a paper airplane.  There's many things you can do to help yourself. The list below is some other alternatives that can help.

• Listen to your favorite CD
• Sing your favorite album or song
• Ripping paper
• Reading a book
• Paint your nails
• Watch a movie
• Make some hot coco
• Stroke nice fabrics
• Build a fort.  With blankets and pillows and lights. All that good stuff
• Throwing balled up socks at walls
• Garden
• Watch fish. (I do this! It's very calming)
• Make a mix tape of your favorite songs
• Play a video game
• Sing on a swing set
• Play at a park
• Dance (even if your not good)
• Pop bubble wrap
• Go to a zoo or aquarium spend time with your favorite animals
• Yoga
• Bake something
• Knit
• Sketch, draw, or paint
• Nap
• Write a letter to someone, a friend, or to nobody
• Take a bath

These are many different types of ways to distract the bad habits.  If you feel the need to binge or purge maybe try some of the methods listed above.  Some of them really help.  It's all abut trial and error, so find what best fits you.

These methods don't have to be for purging or bingeing. It can also be for self harm. If you feel the need to hurt yourself you can use these methods to help calm yourself from the bad urges.

So give them a try; see which work for you and continue on the road for your recovery.

(Picture Found On Tumblr)

Week 12 : Health Concerns with ED's

This week is a little hectic.  My partners and I have to start and finish a 5 minute presentation on what we've done this entire time we've done these blogs.  So my partners and I figured out that we're going to make a video instead of presenting a slideshow in-front of the class.

The only difficult thing about this video is that I will be talking about my own ED.  That's going to be a little tough for me.

So anyways on with this weeks topic.  As you can tell by the title, this  week is about Health Concerns.  All mental or physical illnesses come with health risks and concerns. The following ones  will be very broad risks.

For something such as Anorexia Nervosa some health risks (but not limited to) are : 

• Abnormally slow heart rate and low blood pressure, which mean that the heart muscle is changing.  The risk for heart failure rises as the heart rate and blood pressure levels sink lower and lower.
• Reduction of bone density (osteoporosis), which results in dry, brittle bones.
• Muscle loss and weakness.
• Severe dehydration, which can result in kidney failure.

• Fainting, fatigue, and overall weakness.
• Dry hair and skin; hair loss is common.

For Bulimia some risks can be :

• Electrolyte imbalances that can lead to irregular heartbeats and possibly heart failure and death.  Electrolyte imbalance is caused by dehydration and loss of potassium, sodium and chloride from the body as a result of purging behaviors.
• Potential for gastric rupture during periods of bingeing.
• Inflammation and possible rupture of the esophagus from frequent vomiting.
• Tooth decay and staining from stomach acids released during frequent vomiting.
• Chronic irregular bowel movements and constipation as a result of laxative abuse.

For Binge Eating some risks can be :

• High blood pressure.
• High cholesterol levels.
• Heart disease as a result of elevated triglyceride levels.
• Type II diabetes mellitus.
• Gallbladder disease.

Some of these may not be presented with their  disorder.  Each person is different and show different symptoms.  Just because someone doesn't "look skinny" or "large" enough doesn't mean they can't have an ED.  These are very serious illnesses and shouldn't be taken lightly.

For example : if a guy shows signs of having BED(Binge Eating Disorder) but is in a normal weight range. That doesn't mean that they don't have a serious case.

If a girl shows signs of having AN (Anorexia Nervosa) but is a heavier weight, doesn't mean they couldn't have AN.

So please, don't take these things lightly, they are a very serious issue to deal with.

For now that is all,

-Alexa

(Picture Found On Tumblr)

Week 10 : Confessing

This week was difficult for me to think of a subject.  I've gone through all the eating disorders I'v researched. So now it's time to discuss how to tell someone about if you show signs of an eating disorder(ED).

If you start to believe you have an eating disorder you should tell someone.  It will seem difficult but it's what's best.  It will help you in the long road. I told my friend when I thought I started developing anorexia nervosa.  She told me she noticed how I was dropping weight and how I stopped eating lunch.  She knew I didn't eat breakfast already.  So then she found out how I was only eating dinner.  

To say she was concerned was a bit of an understatement.  She was scared that I would hurt myself.  But I felt better telling someone about it.  It's a little weight off my shoulders.  I'm glad I told her.  She helps me now, if I go to her house she convinces me to eat. Which is difficult for me, but I know it will make her happy. 

Moral of the story, if you start to believe your getting or have an ED you should REALLY go get help.  It's difficult, I know, but it will help.  I promise.  Nobody wants you to get hurt.  There are  many things that can go wrong with having any type of ED, but getting help will better you.  It is a scary thing to do. But I promise you, you will get better. Things will get better. Life will get better with help.

Go to a parent or friend.  Teacher or counselor.  Or a doctor too.

Things will get better.  Sometimes they just take a little longer to happen but your life will get better. 

-Alexa

                Picture found on Tumblr

Week 8 : Purging Disorder

This week I'm going to focus on Purging.  Purging disorder is when you...well. Purge.

As all disorders.  You can be any body weight.   Purging is when you make yourself vomit in simpler terms.

Other ways is by taking laxitives to seep food through your body. So that your body doesn't have enough time to absorb the nutrients of the consumed foods.

Often purging disorder is linked with bulimia nervosa.

Signs of purging disorder can be :

•trips to the bathroom soon after eating

•regularly using laxitives

•obsessing over weight and appearance

Indications of regularly vomiting are :

•clear looking teeth

•swollen cheeks

•calluses or scrapes on the knuckles

•broken blood vessels in the eyes

The reason for the calluses or scraped knuckles are from using your fingers to vomit. 

As any ED it can lead to depression and anxiety.  Or vice versa.  Sometimes the disorders can get so severe that the person becomes suicidal or clinically depressed.  Which of course is a very bad thing to happen.  Nobody wants to go through any of the EDs.

Nobody wants to stress about how much they eat or what they eat.  You want to be able to be happy with your body.  To not stress every time you take a bite of food.  To not have the constant thoughts of calorie intake.  To feel pretty/handsome in your clothing. 

We ED sufferers all want this. To feel pretty or handsome in our own skin.

If there's someone you know you suspect has an ED please. Please talk to them.   Make them feel loved.  Have a heart-to-heart talk with them.  Make sure they know their loved.  That they can always come to you  for a talk or for some help. 

If you think your suffering from a possible ED please find someone you can talk to about your feelings.  As awkward as it may be.  Please.  It will help.

Goodbye lovely-Alexa 

Picture found on Tumblr

Week 7 : Coping Strategies When Eating

This week is going to be about coping strategies.  I'll share some of the coping methods I use to combat my ED.

Most of the time when I eat, I can feel the weight pile up; even if it's a 90 cal granola bar.  It makes me feel disgusting.  Yet! I have found some things that helped me divert my attention away from the meal.

The first method I use is to read. It seems weird I guess but it's seemed to work for me.  Considering my family does eat at a table together, I have to eat in our living room or my own room.  I know what you must be thinking.  If I eat in my room then shouldn't I be able to skip dinner? Well.... They make sure I eat dinner by making sure they see my plate before and after I enter my room. Sucks I know... I'd purge it out if I had the guts to purge.

Next method I use is something my therapist taught me for my panic attacks.  He told me to rub a fabric, either being a soft fabric or rough.  Something with texture.  The idea is to focus on the fabric instead of your thoughts on the food.  I don't use this method for eating but I have used it for my panic attacks  It sometimes works for me for my panic attacks.

Another possible strategy is to tell yourself "its okay to eat this."  This technique has helped me personally. By telling myself things such as "I'm going to be okay" or "This is beneficial for my body" I can usually eat better.  I mainly use this when I'm alone or can't use a book to read or my phone to read.  As silly as it may seem at first, it actually works. 

Below is a picture of little awards for doings things.  Sometimes something as simple as just making the bed can be the biggest accomplishment you did that day.  And you know what?  That's okay!  Maybe you went outside or drew a picture that your really proud of.  That's completely fine!  Making a healthy meal or snack is great too!  Keep your head up and keep trying to get better everyday, even if it's the little things.

-Alexa

                                          (Picture from Tumblr)

Week 3 : Letting Ana Go (book)

I purchased a new book called Letting Ana Go.  It's about a girl who is on a track team.  Her coach starts making the girls record their food intake.  Slowly the girl named, who's name is unknown,starts eating less and less.  Eventually becoming anorexic.  There's also similar books by the same Anonymous author.

There's :

• Letting Ana Go
• Lucy In The Sky
• Jay's Journal
• Go Ask Alice

I only know of the subject Go Ask Alice and Letting Ana Go are. Go Ask Alice is about a girl who goes to a party and tries LSD.  Later in the book she becomes addicted to the drug. Sorry that's really all I know of the book.

Anyways, the book seems pretty good so far.  Currently I'm half way through the book.  I'd recomend this book as it's pretty good.

 Signing off.

Until next time lovelies,

-Alexa

                Picture from google

Week 4 : Those Voices...

Beware this entry is only a personal one. No info for this weeks entry. 

So this week I would like to start off with I'm sorry.  I have been so out of it lately and it's been anexhausting few days...

The voices in my head still,and never will, go away; I just haven't been able to block most of them out like I'm use to.

At my therapy session today I had a scary thing happen...  I had a safety pin in the pocket of my hoodie and when a tough situation came up with my mother, therapist, and moi (me).  The thing is that when I tried to hurt myself to not show a reaction by stabbing the safety pin on my index finger...well...umm...it didn't hurt...  I didn't expect that.  I expected the safety pin to help control my feelings.  It didn't.  Although I should have seen it comming, only burning helps me control my emotions in taxing situations.

There's a headache forming now.  Gosh my stars my mother won't stop hounding me on several things.  A new thing is about how much I read.  Read!  Isn't it a good thing to read everyday?!  Is it not?  I read to enjoy literature, to live hundreds of different lives, to escape from the piece of shit I call my life.  Gosh my stars...  I should just go... Goodbye for now.

Until next time,

-Alexa

Week 2 : Orthorexia Nervosa

This week I did research on a lesser known disorder called Orthorexia Nervosa.

Alongside the research of ON (Orthorexia Nervosa), during class I learned that we would be making slides for my final product of this blog.  So, today the teacher showed us how to make different looking slides that have a theme.  As of course mine will have a ED theme of some sort.

Anyways, back to the subject.  ON is a lesser known eating disorder.  It's definition is literally means 'fixation on righteous eating.'  It's (like any disorder) an unhealthy obsession.  ON's begin as attempt at becoming healthier, yet soon take it to an extreme.  They will also punish themselves for giving in to temptation, sometimes by restricting food intake, exercising, and or fasting.

Even though ON is a lesser known disorder, it still is a disorder, one that people need help with.  People with ON need support in overcoming it.

'Recovered orthorexics will still eat healthfully, but there will be a different understanding of what healthy eating is.  They will realize that food will not make them a better person and that basing their self-esteem on the quality of their diet is irrational.  Their identity will shift from “the person who eats health food” to a broader definition of who they are – a person who loves, who works, who is fun.  They will find that while food is important, it is one small aspect of life, and that often other things  are more important!'

 (Insert from http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/orthorexia-nervosa )

YET!  Remember that just because you like eating healthy doesn't mean you have ON.  Only if taken into obsession can it turn to a problem.  When your diet ends up controlling your entire life, if you feel guilt or self-loathing when you stray from your diet, and wish you could occasionally eat and not have to feel worried or guilty about the food quality.

I must go now,

until next time.

-Alexa

(Found on Google Images)

Week 1 : How the Media Effects ED's

Now it's a new year, and so for my teacher it means the numbering system on this will start over on  these blogs. So now these blogs have to start over starting from 1.  So I'm sorry about how these will be numbered perplexing.  ANYWAYS, on with the blog.

Well it's about time I got to this subject.  The media plays a ginormous role in ED's.  They glorify the need to be thin and pretty.  Take a look into a magazine and what do you see?  Thin, tall, beautiful women -or- tall, muscular, handsome men.  For me, by seeing a picture such as the one below all I see is how beautiful and skinny the woman is.  The urge to become thin intensifies, and it's basically my ' Thin-spo '  As bad as it is, it makes me burrow deeper into my ED.

It's most definatley not a good thing to see this or strive to become it, yet it's what has got me down to 101.46 lbs. as of today.  It's horrendous to know I use to be up to 140 lbs.  Thinking back to how I use to look, it disgusts me to no end.  I'm still very unhappy with my current weight; I want to get down to 92 lbs.  But it will take some time unfortunately because I can't workout as much as I want to, due to my low blood pressure it's very easy to pass out when doing cardio (which is the most efficient way to lose weight).

Below are some facts found on www.anad.org

• 95% of all dieters will regain their lost weight within 5 years.3
• 35% of “normal dieters” progress to pathological dieting. Of those, 20-25% progress to partial or full-syndrome eating disorders.5
• The body type portrayed in advertising as the ideal is possessed naturally by only 5% of American females.3
• 47% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported wanting to lose weight because of magazine pictures.12
• 69% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported that magazine pictures influenced their idea of a perfect body shape.13
• 42% of 1st-3rd grade girls want to be thinner (Collins, 1991).
• 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat (Mellin et al., 1991).

There is a serious problem with the media glorifying the need to be thin, pretty, handsome, muscular.  It's sickening honestly.  Just know that there IS treatment for eating disorders.  They do help, I'm not in treatment (since my parents haven't found out) I'm seeing a therapist for depression, and it does help.  It may seem silly to go and talk about your problems, but it does help to have someone to talk to in confidentiality.

Until next time,
                         Alexa

                                      

                                                          Found on Tumblr