So this week I would like to start off with I'm sorry. I have been so out of it lately and it's been anexhausting few days...
The voices in my head still,and never will, go away; I just haven't been able to block most of them out like I'm use to.
At my therapy session today I had a scary thing happen... I had a safety pin in the pocket of my hoodie and when a tough situation came up with my mother, therapist, and moi (me). The thing is that when I tried to hurt myself to not show a reaction by stabbing the safety pin on my index finger...well...umm...it didn't hurt... I didn't expect that. I expected the safety pin to help control my feelings. It didn't. Although I should have seen it comming, only burning helps me control my emotions in taxing situations.
There's a headache forming now. Gosh my stars my mother won't stop hounding me on several things. A new thing is about how much I read. Read! Isn't it a good thing to read everyday?! Is it not? I read to enjoy literature, to live hundreds of different lives, to escape from the piece of shit I call my life. Gosh my stars... I should just go... Goodbye for now.
Until next time,
-Alexa
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